Confessions of a Newlywed- Sex-Addition-YOUR orgasm should take priority....

OP! Here I go again. I swear, when I'm in the shower, sometimes I get the weirdest topics for things to talk about, no, not always sex or because I'm nakey, I think it's because I'm not near a pen and the good Lord wants to test my brain power for remembering... I used to sleep with a notepad under my pillow because all my good ideas came in the middle of the night, lol. That's a true story.

Ok, so back to the good stuff. We've talked about orgasms already, but not in totality. Because here's the thing, ladies, some of you just aren't getting 'yours' and it's not ok. Listen, I know so many women out there struggle with sex and past shame or pain, infertility, etc. and my heart aches for you. As someone who is infertile and dealt for years with hemorrhaging and surgeries and Lupron and fatigue, I SEE YOU, I FEEL YOU. There are others though who deserve to know that their desires to be pleased are VALID and they're NECESSARY. Years ago, I had to draw a diagram for my cousin because she didn't know she had three holes down there, SHE'D BEEN MARRIED FOR YEARS AND HAD TWO KIDS, THIS is a problem. Her orgasm was never a priority in their marriage and their marriage ended. That's not why, but I can bet that as a woman, feeling cherished in this area is VITAL to marriage health and when a man is out to 'get his' and his alone, it isn't fair and it ISN'T ok.

I bought my mom a vibrator for her 40th birthday, she doesn't read any of what I share so she can't kill me for this. I bought her James Taylor tickets too, but that's beside the point. We were talking about sex one day and she said she didn't know if she'd ever had an orgasm, well, I said, then you haven't, because you would KNOW... hence the vibrator. She was married at the time too and I think this happens often in marriage and again, I say, it's not ok. Especially when you're not 'feeling it' necessarily, but you know you need that intimate time, by golly then you deserve to have your happy ending too. It isn't all about him, even though a sometimes sexually selfish man thinks it is. Or maybe you've faked it for so long you've actually forgotten the splendor of it all. Well, I implore you ladies, seek the orgasm, HAVE YOUR HAPPY ENDING.

My husband is great in this area, although there have been times that I've had to remind him that it ain't over until it's over and for a female sometimes it takes a while, so let me feel all the feels, if ya know what I mean... finish, let me finish. Men can get in a hurry to get in there lol, oh m gee, he's gonna kill me for sure, but he can wait...trust me. It's good if he waits, he can handle it, it's good for the health of his prostate too.

There is NO SHAME in wanting to experience that feeling for yourself, God created your marriage for INTIMACY, not selfishness in the bedroom, so end it now and if it requires a face to face, as much as it may suck, do it. It could rekindle the spark you've been looking for. And your man WANTS to please you, nothing says, I'm 'good in bed' to a man like you having an orgasm... or six... so don't apologize for wanting to 'get yours' too.

Have sex. Often. Get creative. Make time. Ask God to be involved in this area of your life. I thank God for our healthy sex life and for my husband and his desire for me. God wants every part of your life, not just the ones you feel comfortable to share. Let Him in.

So, who's going to 'get theirs' tonight?! (raising MY HAND over here!)